Saturday, March 9, 2013

The Wisdom of Resolutions

I had one very key New Year's Resolution. No Relationships.

And I broke that one very Quickly. and Very Very thouroughly.

I fell in love.

And He didn't catch me.

And I'm so broken I really don't know how to go on.

My life had been, if not full, at least busy.

Now I can't figure out how to get out of bed, or eat, or work, or care. Im so confused on why I am always the one kicked aside...and this time by someone who had everything I've ever wanted...including promises that made me happy.

I don't care if I ever blog again. Books don't even hold a minor interest, or passing fancy. Not much does at the moment.

I'll heal. Somehow. But I'm scarred now. Worse than has ever happened to me.

Leukemia I could fight. This is out of my control. I can't even say please.

I'll keep going, my kids compell that. I want to see their lives. And how full they will be.  And like all mothers, I will hope that their lives turn out better than mine.

2 comments:

  1. Laura, I think it is time to call in the reinforcements. Make an appointment with a counselor or a priest/pastor. Talk to someone who can offer you an nonjudgmental ear. Perhaps, for a short time you may even need some anti-depressants. No sin in that. Make an appointment to see your medical doctor. The inertia is the worst. Get up and move. Go for a walk. Look at the spring flowers. Call for help. Breathe. Focus on getting enough oxygen. I bet if you pay attention, you've been holding your breath a lot. Breathe slowly and purposefully. I know you can do this. You will be OK. My prayers are winging their way to you right now.

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  2. Laura, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I agree with Anne. I think you need to see someone who can help you through this so you don't have to do it alone. It'll be heard and you may not want to do it, but you can and you'll be better for it. My thoughts and prayers are coming your way.

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